WHEN THE JOHNNY IS LINED WITH GOLD
by: Al Boyce 3/2/2001
Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home

In a jewelry shop in old Hong Kong
Hurrah, hurrah
Lam Sai-Wing he labored long
Hurrah, hurrah
Vlad Lenin's dream he made his own
By making himself a golden "throne"
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

The Johnny is lined in gold my friends,
Hurrah, hurrah
And rubies encrust the loo's dustbin
Hurrah, hurrah
With diamond dust mixed in the tile grout
There's an ivory tusk for the water spout
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

The butt wipe's thousand dollar bills
Hurrah, hurrah,
'Cause flushing cash just gives me thrills
Hurrah, hurrah
The crapper cost 5 million bucks
But porcelain potties really suck
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold

If you spend a thousand in his shop
Hurrah, Hurrah
In his gilded head you can then go "plop"
Hurrah, hurrah
Buy a ring or a diamond studded heart
And he'll let you go in and take a... look
And we'll all pee gay when
The Johnny is lined with gold