Crapper With the Golden Top
(tune: Surrey with the fringe on top)

When you sit right down tonight, to pee
Honey here's the way it's goin' to be:
You will set upon a gleaming golden toilet
In the slickest john you ever see!

Gents and dames and kids look so dapper
When they're sitting down on the crapper
When they're sitting down on the crapper with the golden top!
Watch that gold and see how it glistens
When you're sitting there just a-pissin'
But you must spend big for permission in the jewelry shop

The seat is golden, the basin is too
The faucet is 24 karat
With all the accessories money can buy
Lam Sai-wing has the cash and don't spare it!

Body piercings scrape, scratch and spoil it
People who can't aim sometimes soil it
Soil that first-class, world-class toilet at the jewelry shop
But my butt looks damn' fine and proper
Nothing here is made out of copper
On the shining, gleaming crapper with the gol-den-top!

Copyright © 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved.