Ballad of _Robert's Rules_
Copyright 1987 by George Flynn
Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home

(During the Civil War, Captain [later General] Henry M. Robert was assigned to preparing the defenses of New Bedford, Massachusetts against possible enemy attack. For some reason the Confederates never did show up....)

When Henry M. Robert went to war, hurrah, hurrah
He really did find his job a bore, hurrah, hurrah
New Bedford wasn't quite the place
Where Rebel armies one might face
There was _lots_ of time for Robert to write his Rules.

He'd joined ev'ry civic group in town, hurrah, hurrah
But meetings began to get him down, hurrah, hurrah
The clubs were all so badly run
That Hank cried, "Something must be done!"
And 'twas that in-spi-red Robert to write the Rules.

Wherever he later was assigned, hurrah, hurrah
The very same problem he would find, hurrah, hurrah
The rules were diff'rent everywhere,
Which made the meetings hard to bear;
That's why Robert felt there had to be standard rules.

So General Robert's bag of tricks, hurrah, hurrah
Was published in eighteen-sev'nty-six, hurrah, hurrah
Now meetings could be run just right,
And members didn't have to fight
Just as long as someone brought along _Robert's Rules_.

Although we still honor Robert's name, hurrah, hurrah
The rules that we use aren't quite the same, hurrah, hurrah
For Robert's heirs are hardly fools,
And each few years they change some rules,
So we'll all buy more revisions of _Robert's Rules_.