Alan Foster used to post here, as Alan of Australia and as Alan of Oz. Several of his songs can be found scattered around Mudcat: The Wolfhound; It's Not Easy; The Travelling Salesman; Early One Morning; The World's Slowest Swimmer; Seamus and the Lady; How Granny Died. Here's one more. Marg Walters tells me it's based on an actual occurrence, with "Tom" in the song being Tom Hanson, well-known in these parts as a member of The Roaring Forties. The only recording I know of is on a cassette of Alan's, called Cockroaches and Computers.

Cockroach in a Folk Club
Alan Foster

When Tom, the stockman, came to town,
'Twas the hottest night of the year.
And as he sat down in the little folk club,
Pat went out to the bar for some beer.
There were sounds in the air of an Irish ballad,
The Flower of Donegal.
The singer was halfway through her song
When a cockroach appeared on the wall.

Now Tom eyed the roach with a baleful glare,
And wished for his trusty stockwhip.
And not to be daunted, he rose to his feet,
And removed his belt from his hip.
Well, Tom kept his eye on the crawly intruder,
Had that roach in his sights.
He flicked his wrist, and a sound like a shot
Made the singer stop short in her fright.

The cockroach's tail remained on the wall,
Leaving a dark little stain.
The singer remembered the words of the song,
And we all joined in the refrain.
The rest of the cockroach sailed through the air
In a graceful, descending arc,
Just as Patrick emerged through the door with the beer,
And the dog began to bark.
Now, the roach's trajectory took it unerringly
Towards the beer that Pat held,
And he gave a shrill cry and jumped aside
From the place where the roach was propelled.

As Pat jumped aside, a few drops of beer
Fell to the floor in a puddle,
And right in the middle of that pool of beer
The dying cockroach did tumble.
He swam round and round in the amber fluid
As he died from the lethal blow,
And I think of his death in a pool of grog,
And I think, what a great way to go.