I'm amazed no one has mentioned the classic masterpiece by Shel Silverstein and sung by Doctor Hook:


I GOT STONED AND I MISSED IT
Shel Silverstein
As recorded by Dr. Hook on "Bankrupt" (1979)

1. I was sittin' in my basement
I just rolled myself a taste of
Something green and gold and glorious to get me through the day,
And then my friend yelled through the transom:
"Grab your coat and get your hat, son.
There's a nut down on the corner givin' dollar bills away."

But I laid around a bit and I had another hit
And I rolled myself a bomber then I thought about my mama
Then I fooled around, played around, jacked around awhile, and then--

CHORUS: I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and it rolled right by.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned, oh me, oh my!

2. Now it took seven months of urgin'
Just to get that local virgin
With the sweet face up to my place to fool around a bit.
Next day she woke up rosy
And she smuggled up so cozy.
When she asked me how I liked it, Lord, it hurt me to admit--CHORUS

3. Now, I ain't makin no excuses
For the many things I uses
Just to sweeten my relationships and brighten up my day,
But when my earthly race is over
And I'm ready for the clover
And they ask me how my life has been, I guess I'll have to say--

CHORUS: I was stoned and I missed it (etc.)

Cheers

Ray