I achieved three score years and ten 43 minutes ago as I type. You may not call me elderly as I regard seventy as the new 32. Unfortunately, I have yet to persuade even one of the many hundreds of attractive young ladies of Bude of this. Mrs Steve has advised, nay, warned me in no uncertain terms that I should desist from any further efforts in that direction. But, in the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, she'll have to sew 'em back on first...