The new and different bedroom is an adjustment but overall a good thing.

What I may do next is something different than I considered before.
I was looking at a cheaper plan on the institution campus.
Now what would answer my needs best is to get
more support from nursing while staying in the present building --
and this, of course, means switching to a more expensive plan.

My present plan features a little bit of contact with nursing, per week,
with a lot of group therapy sessions.
Now, doing some particularly delicate and painful emotional work,
I feel more trusting of nursing than I feel about the group.
It doesn't help that, in the past two months,
the group membership is so greatly changed.
I would feel better cared for, right now,
with less group therapy and more time with nursing.

Two months ago the group-therapy membership was
a pretty chill group of people.
We could be together and separate, in a positive sense,
at the same time: giving each other space and respect.
Some of us -- not necessarily me -- behaved like adults most of the time.

Well, many of the respectful adult members discharged within the past eight weeks.
The group membership now is dominated largely by patients who only arrived recently, some more recently than others;
and they are as needy and intrusive and boundary-oblivious
as the previous members were respectful.

I have felt myself going along with the group dynamic,
and on looking more closely at my behavior,
I see things I want to change, for myself and for the sake of others. Some of it strongly influenced by the drama in the group now.

Certain group members will fuss, like tantrum-prone children,
when I set a boundary and tell them that
my treatment is no longer any of their business;
all the more reason to do so, and that firmly,
and to have the support of clinicians and nursing while doing it.
It won't be easy.
Asserting myself in this fashion is something I haven't done often.
I believe I will be better off for doing so now
and getting on with the uncomfortable parts of my treatment
amongst people I can trust.
Thanks for listening, it means a lot to me.