Lyrics to Stan Rogers: Hail to You, Santa Claus

Hail to you, Santa Claus, come to me tonight
I’ve been a thoughtful little boy and I’m tucked in bed so tight
I’ve always done as I was told always what is right
Hail to you, Santa Claus, come to me tonight.

Yesterday, my older brother whispered in my ear
Words that made me want to cry and I didn’t want to hear
He said: “There is no Santa Claus or reindeer for his sleigh,
there are no elves for way up north, just lots of ice and eskimos.
And northern lights stand all the snow and nighttime lasts all day.”

And then I told him mama said that Santa come tonight
And the stocking on the mantle piece would soon be full and tight
And the little angel smiling from atop the Christmas tree
Telling me that I’ve been good reminding me I should recall
The good lord Jesus who once was less than five lightning.

Hail to you, Santa Claus, come to me tonight
Though your legs are weary and your eyes are short of sight
Everybody uses you and says that you’re to blame
Although you still come every year, your toys are not the same.

(Instrumental break)

Last year for a Christmas gift, I got a dear Gaston
And on my birthday, a de-Santa toy made 21
It matches all my toy grenades and the mark I’ve made of bomb
And with my helmet on my head, I shoot my little friends all dead
I load their families all to bed with the soldiers grew aplomb.

My kindergarten teacher tells me to hit all is read
So if Santa comes round here tonight, I’ll hit him on the head
And with my brand-new CIA kit question if until,
My new toy thumbscrew does its job
And he tells me how his reindeer fly
And if I move him for the kill, I’ll drill him for the head
Because he’s a coley and I’m an all American kid.

Hail to you, Santa Claus, flying up so high
And if you come round here tonight, I’ll blast you from the sky
If you get my mind toy radar bow, how that be I can tell
The landmine in the fireplace will blow you straight to Hell.

Hail to you, Santa Claus, better turn and run
Because thanks to democracy, I’ve been brought up to the guns
I’ll make on all your factories, but don't be too reflexed
Here’s to you, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny’s next.