The Fife verse.

Noo Fife is a Kingdom but it’s no’ got a King
When ye dine there ye take a lang spin
It’s got nice wee herbours & plenty gowf
You could buy yersel a nice wee howf
But if you want to get a life
Ye dinny want tae live in Fife

'Translation'
Now Fife is a Kingdom but it has not got a King
When you dine there you take a long spoon
It’s got nice small harbours and plenty golf
You could buy yourself a nice little house
But if you want to get a life
You don’t want to live in Fife