I actually went to university with Piers, at Imperial College in the early 70s. He was president of the Students' Union. I cringe when I think back to those beer-addled meetings. Oddly, years later when I'd met the future Mrs Steve, she spoke of Piers prowling around halls of residence corridors, trying to sneak out unobserved, slippers and very sloppy jumper in hand...

Piers has done very odd things ever since then, including setting up his weather forecasting system-by-numbers business. He's also a massive climate change denier. I haven't kept up with him on coronavirus, though I can guess...

Piers, chalk. Jeremy, cheese.