Man wakes up in a hospital bed after a motorcycle accident, and Screams:
"Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

"No sir, we amputated your hands!"

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Woman gets a phone call from the local A&E unit:
"Mrs Jones, your husband is here, he had an accident at work and we've had to amputate his finger."

"His whole finger?"

"No, the one next to it!"