The Bedbug Song
Here's to the bedbug he's a friend of mine
No matter where I travel he's never far behind
He never seems to worry he always has a home
When he picks me for an address I get the itch to roam

Now the flea
Has an appetite it's true
But leave it to the bedbug
to put the bite on you
Well it's bedbugs in the morning
In the afternoon
A swimin' in my coffee
A climbin' up the spoon

When I go to bed at night, crawl beneath the sheet
Then I am awakened by the sound of marching feet
It's just a bedbug Sunday school a marching round and round
Down across my stomach onto the picnic ground

Little friend
I never hear you gripe
You'll always stay for dinner
Even though I'm not your type
Then sing to the bedbugs
As they crawl and creep
It's a handy occupation when
You're trying to go to sleep

Hail to the roaches we squash upon our floors
Applaud the mighty termite who runs a sodded oars
But lo, the humble bedbug don't judge him by his size
At spreading purple agony he's bound to take the prize

Look at people
Ever since the world began
Makes you wonder who's a bigger louse
The bedbug or the man
Then let's hear it for the bedbug
If for this and nothing more
He'll help you to remember what your finger nails are for

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