1. Oh! what had I ado for to marry! My wife she drinks naithing but sack and canary. I to her friends complained right airly:
CHORUS: O gin my wife wad drink hooly and fairly, Hooly and fairly, hooly and fairly. O gin my wife wad drink hooly and fairly.
2. First she drank Crummie, and syne she drank Garie. Now she has drunken my bonny grey mairie That carried me thro’ the dub and the lairie.
3. If she’d drink but her ain things, I wad na much care. She drinks my claiths I canna well spare. To the kirk and the market I gang fu’ barely.
4. If there’s ony siller, she maun keep the purse. If I seek but a baubee, she’ll scauld and she’ll curse. She gangs like a queen; I scrimper and sparely.
5. I never was given to wrangling nor strife, Nor e’er did refuse her the comforts of life. Ere it come to a war, I’m ay for a parley.
6. A pint wi’ the cummers I wad her allow, But when she sits down she fills herself fow, And when she is fow she’s unco campsterie.
7. And when she comes hame, she lays on the lads. She ca’s the lasses baith limmers and jades, And I my ain sell, an auld cockel carlie.