Now some of you guys need to see what it's like living in a seaside retirement area:

Pulling out without looking

Pulling out in front of you when there is no other traffic on the road then driving extremely slowly

Terrible positioning when turning right, causing a huge queue to form behind

Failing to notice the lights changing at road works then driving through them at snail's pace

Almost completely stopping even on the very gentlest of road humps

Crawling along the coast road at 15mph "to enjoy the scenery"

Not signalling

Not cancelling signalling

Not having a clue about what you do at roundabouts (we have a particular mini-roundabout which gets more conversations going than the weather, usually due to total traffic paralysis)

Taking up three parking spaces ("I can't risk getting boxed in")

Not putting your bloody car between the white lines in car parks

Not putting your car at the end of the parking bay (an offence that deserves no less than slow and painful testicle removal)

Feel free to suggest additions. One last thing. All towed caravans should be taxed at £10,000 per month and motor homes should be allowed on the road between the hours of 2am and 4am only, and should only ever be parked deep inside dense pine forests at least one mile along a dirt track from the main road.