Chap went to the doc with a terrible stomach ache.

"I can't understand it, doc. I have a great appetite, I love my grub and now I'm just miserable!"

"So what have you had to eat today so far?"

"Well for breakfast I had six slices of toast, eight fried eggs, five sausages and half a pound mushrooms. Elevenses, three coffees and six or seven chocolate biscuits. For lunch I had two king-size burgers with extra fries and bacon with each one, a slab of chocolate cake, two Cokes and two bottles of beer..."

"Hmm. Well drop your trousers, bend over and let's take a look.... Ahah, I can see straight away what the problem is here..."

"What is it, doc?"

"Well, it appears that you only have the one arsehole..."