Troll.

A bloke wakes up in hospital after a terrible car accident. He looks down between his legs and, well, there's a key component missing...

The surgeon comes in and sez to the bloke, "You're lucky, mate. You're in the top hospital for todger transplantation in the country. As a matter of fact, we happen to have a choice of three replacement willies for you in our freezer right now!"

"Oh wow!" sez the bloke. Tell me more!"

"Well, of course there will be a small charge. We have a six-incher, a sort of budget model, that would cost you five grand. Then there's the eight-incher at ten grand. The gold standard is our nine-and-a-half incher, but that one would set you back twenty grand...."

"Blimey," sez the bloke. "I'd love that last one, but can you get my wife in so that we can consult?"

An hour later, after the chap and his missus had had a chat, the surgeon came back in. "Well have you made a decision?"

"We have," said the chap. "We're having a new kitchen..."