I intend to (ahem) do the following at next Monday's second-anniversay Singaround.

ALL HOOKED UP

Tune: Elvis Presley's All Shook Up

A-well a-bless a-my soul, what's a-happ'nin' to me?
I've got a brand new contract with an ISP,
My friends say I've caught the World-Wide Bug,
I'm on-line [!]
            I'm all hooked up,
Mm mm mm, Hm, Yea-a-ah.

Well my skills are shaky and my nerves are weak,
I go all to pieces when the system feeps,
But why should I worry when I have such luck?
I'm on-line [!]
            I'm all hooked up,
Mm mm mm, Hm, Yea-a-ah.

Well please don't ask what was on my mind,
I'm three grande poorer but I'm feeling fine,
With a new computer upon my desk
I feel so cool it scares me to death!

When I click that mouse what a thrill I get
To know I'm connected to the Internet,
One of these days I'm gonna fire it up ---
I'm on-line [!]
            I'm all hooked up,
Mm mm mm, Hm, Yea-a-ah.

Though it's all so groovy my one regret
Is that nobody has sent me any e-mail yet,
But when I phone I'm told I'm doing fine
By my friends on my ISP's Help Line ---

The girls there have dubbed me Sir I-D-Ten-T,*
I pay through the nose because my site is free,
They know they're lucky to have signed me up,
I'm on-line [!]
            I'm all hooked up,
Mm mm mm, Hm, Yea-a-ah,
Mm mm mm, Hm, Yea-a-ah,
            I'm all hooked up [!].

This parody Copyright © 1999, 2022 Martin J Carter

* "I-D-Ten-T error" is a term used by helpline operatives, but it is not wise to write the "Ten" as "10" in config-file comments, however annoying the cusstomer may be.