Iceberg lettuce is crunchy, tasteless, watery shite. Redolent of the bog-standard pub "ploughman's lunch" which comes with a lump of factory "cheddar", a golf-ball tomato that tastes of nothing, grated carrot (is there anything more disgusting?), raw cabbage stalky stuff and salad cream if you're lucky. Oh, and a lump of dry Tesco bloomer. This stuff is not real food, and it's doubtful that any ploughman worth his salt would touch it with a ten-foot bargepole.