> Durham police [are] due to deliver their findings this week or next.

So *that*'s what de Pfeffel is busy-waiting* on: if they say Starmer's broken the law, he'll do the honourable thing and go, and de Pfeffel will call a snap election while Labour are sorting out the succession. If not, the World King can demand another recount. The Durham constabulary really are on the horns of a dry lemon.

* Busy-waiting: a programming technique where the program does nothing but check a flag, waiting for it to be changed by some external event. Often thought to be an antipattern, ie a Bad Thing, as the processor can do nothing constructive while stuck in that loop.