For hamsters: archaic and pretentious sounding names are great. such as...

Winston, Throckmorton, Prendergast, Oglethorpe, and Dudley. That's for male hamsters.

Female hamsters? Well...

How about Lobelia or Lucretia.

Then there are the names you put on order forms to get revenge on junk mail advertisers.

Yes!!! Send me 5 years of Time Magazine (and a FREE mouse pad! Oh, wow! Golly gee!) forthwith to:

Yurko Slobodovich, Gus Fyfield, or the weird name of your choice...at the fictional address of your invention...preferably in some really remote little community at a post office box or even General Delivery...or just pick a street name and number somewhere in Chicago for variety.

If enough people did this on a regular basis junk mail would soon cease to exist.

"Hugh G. Rekshun" has gotta meet Seymour Flesch (the male stripper) one of these days...

- LH