I'm interested in songs about old people refusing to accept negative stereotypes.


A true story. Particulars have been changed to protect the guy at the car stereo place in Ukiah.

   YOUNG LADY   

   A week ago Monday I drove to Fort Bragg
   With my African basket and recycled bag.
   Fresh out of chocolate, I had to buy more.
“Good morning, young lady,” said the man in the store.

   Should I forgive him because of his youth?
   Oh, no, I think it’s better that he learn the truth.
   “I’ll not be cajoled by your flattering tongue,
   I am not a lady and I am not young.”

   “One month ago I turned seventy-two
   I’ll bet I’m thirty years older than you.
   I’m losing my teeth and I’m losing my hair,
   And now I’ve lost my bifocals, I don’t know where.

   “I live surrounded by things I can’t find
   But that doesn’t mean that I’m losing my mind.
   I know where it is: it’s right here in my head
   And I plan to keep using it till I am dead.

“Now I’ve got my chocolate, I’ll be on my way
I’ve enjoyed talking with you here today.
Have I made myself clear? I don’t need to say more?”
“Sure thing, young lady,” said the man in the store.


"Young Lady" can be sung to the tune of "Polly Vaughn" or "Jack Rafferty" or....