Red goes to a New Year’s Eve party.
He’s having a great time but after a while he realizes he lost his wallet.
Red’s not a shy guy, so he stands up and says “Excuse me! Excuse me! I lost my wallet with $500 in it. I’ll give $50 to whoever finds it!”
From the back of the room comes a voice, “I’ll give $75!”

Every day, Morrie has lunch in the same deli, and every day Morrie orders the beef barley soup.

One day he gets his soup, and as the waiter starts walking away, Morrie says, “Come back here. Taste the soup.”

“What’s wrong, Morrie? You’ve had that soup every day for 30 years.”

“Taste the soup.”

“Is it too salty?”

“Taste the soup.”

“Is it cold?”

“Taste. The. Soup.”

“Is there a fly in it, God forbid?”

“Taste the soup!”

“Okay, fine. I’ll taste the soup. Where’s the spoon?”

“Aha!”