The lug nut nut story is, a driver gets a flat tire at night outside the insane asylum. Trying to change the tire, steps in the hubcap and sends the lug nuts flying off into the bushes. Now mad, swearing, hears a voice from inside the fence which says, take one lug nut off each of the other wheels, that'll get you to the next station. When the driver seems surprised the voice says I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid.