Oh my Lord Steve! Spam fritters? I absolutely loathed them when I had school dinners (1950's) Disgusting. I always refused to eat mine, but one of the dinner ladies knew my mum, and she told her every time I hadn't eaten my dinner. I got a good smack when my mother got home from work.
I've lost 3 stone now, and have had to do a bit of sewing or my underwear falls down :) No crumpets ever again :( but my new comfort food is edamame beans. Love 'em!