PT guy also reports both sacroiliac joints frozen, and sacrum stuck at improper tilt. Not helping L5S1 at all. Also apparently my brain is not talking to my ass: I am incapable (on both sides) of getting my glutes to contract. If I try, lots of other muscles move, and my glutes just ignore me.

And snicker. I am reminded of a line, pun intended, from a song about how to make bouillabaisse, starting with getting the fish:

Des courageux prennent leur canne
Et vont eux-même le pêcher
Mais le poisson passe et ricane
Y'a plus qu'à l'acheter au marché!