A man walks into his house and sees and envelope on the kitchen table. He opens it and reads the letter inside:
“Dear Mum and Dad,
I have joined a terrorist group and we a planning to take over the country by force. My part in the plot will be to plant a bomb in Buckingham Palace and kidnap a member of the Royal Family. MI5 are on to us, so I have had to make my escape while there is still time. You may not see me for a while, although you might read about me in the newspapers.
I will miss you, as I hope you will miss me.
Your loving son,
Darren.

P.S. – None of the above is true but it shows that there are worse things in this world than a bad school report. It’s behind the clock on the mantelpiece. I will be staying at Gavin’s until you have calmed down.

DC