Gack. I left out the intro and the second verse.


During the pandemic, I binge-watched The Titanic
Saw the captain and the crew do stupid things and panic.
Saw the great ship split in half and sink below the sea,
Ate my buttered popcorn and was glad it wasn’t me.
                                                                           

Rearranging Deck Chairs
Tune: The Handsome Cabin Boy


The crew are winching lifeboats down into the freezing sea.
The band is on the boat deck playing "Nearer My God To Thee."
I am an able seaman charged with maintenance and repairs,
The bos'n says, “Go up on deck and rearrange the chairs.”

He thinks they’ve fallen over so I have to go and check
And bring a bucket and a mop so I can swab the deck.
The ship is slowly sinking while the boilers steam and smoke,
I gaze around and wonder if there isn’t something broke.

A thousand squealing Norway rats are diving off the side
But I’m not going to follow them, a worker has his pride.
The jewel-bedazzled heiresses and self-made millionaires
Are crowding into lifeboats as I rearrange the chairs.

They’ve locked the doors to steerage so the poor folks can’t get out
“There isn’t room for all of you,” I heard the Captain shout.
The Irish and Italian are all kneeling, saying prayers
While up here on the quarterdeck I’m rearranging chairs.