I'M LEARNING A SONG FOR CHRISTMAS
 Written and composed by R.P. Weston & Bert Lee
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)

I did feel a silly ass last Christmas night
'Cos I couldn't sing and I couldn't recite
The girls called me slacker and other rude names
And wouldn't kiss me when they played parlour games
But I'll show 'em something next Christmas you see
I've turned up me job, and between you and me,
Chorus: I'm learning a song for Christmas
To sing upon Christmas night
Oh, Oh, how does it go?
This is the only part I know
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, I hope I shall get it all right
Oh I shall look a mug with me little brown jug
When I sing it on Christmas night.
Patter: Yes and I think it'll be a good song for Christmas, 'Little Brown Jug'. It's better that 'A Little Bit Of Heaven'... there's nothing in that... but there is something in 'The Little Brown Jug'... at least there is if me father hasn't drunk it.
Course, I hope they call upon me at a proper time on Christmas night. I mean... if they call on me too early I shan't be warmed up and if they call on me too late, I shall be full-up!
Oh! I'm going to come out in me best suit... mind you, before I come out in me best suit, me best suit'll have to come out.
Yes, and I'm practicing hard everyday now and I've started taking singing lessons. I went round to the teacher's house last night and though I say it m'self, I was in fine form. I ran up the scales... I got up to 'F'... then I got up to 'G'... and just as I was getting up to 'A'... something white ran past the door. He said, 'It's alright, it's only the wife who's just been running her bath.' And would you believe it, I actually got up to 'C'!
Chorus: I'm learning a song for Christmas
To sing upon Christmas night
Oh, Oh, how does it go?
This is the only part I know
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, I hope I shall get it all right
Oh I shall look a mug with me little brown jug
When I sing it on Christmas night.