AND THE GREAT BIG SAW CAME NEARER AND NEARER
 Written and composed by R.H. Weston & Bert Lee - 1936
Performed by Leslie Sarony (1897-1985)

Now he was a saw-mill proprietor
And she was a fair maid unkissed
One evening he winked his squint eye at her
But she said, 'Nay, nay, Sir, desist'
So he dragged her into the saw-mill, poor wench
Then he took off his belt and strapped her to the bench

Chorus: And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer
'Be my wife or I will cut you in two'
Said the villain to poor little Vera
But she said, 'Nay, nay, though you cut me in twain
The angels will stick me together again'
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer.

The villainous saw-mill proprietor
Heard her screaming there fit to bust
So what did he do to quiet her
He filled up her mouth with saw dust
She looked like a lovely wax doll there it's true
And chock full of saw dust she felt like that too

Chorus: And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer
'Be my wife or I will cut you in two'
Said the villain to poor little Vera
But she said, 'Nay, nay, though you've money in banks
I wouldn't wed you if you cut me in planks
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer.

But Ha, look who's here, why it's young rancher Jim
'Tis her sweetheart a burly sheep herder
And he yells to the villain, 'Hands up you brute'
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
But the villain has used his belt strapping her down
Yes he's used it to strap down poor Vera
So when he throws his hands up, his trousers fall down
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer

But who's this? It's the sheriff. He shows them his star
Then he says when he looks round at Vera
'Gee ain't that just too bad. What d'ya know about that?'
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
Ah, then in came the doctor (He heard the gal scream)
So he thought she'd been queer and get queerer
He says 'Show me your tongue! Now lets feel your pulse'
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer

Ah, who's this? 'Tis the undertaker with tape
He kneels down and measures poor Vera
Says, 'Would you like it in elm or in oak?'
And the great big saw came nearer and nearer
'Ah, but can nothing save her?' they say as they weep
As they think it means good-bye to Vera
Till she hollers out, 'Stop the machinery, you fools'
And they do, it's a darn good idea.

And the saw no more comes nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer.
Wedding bells ding dong, the hero so strong
Goes to church with his beautiful Vera
But now, fed up with marriage she'll say, 'Listen here
For goodness sake next time, Sam, don't interfere
When the big saw comes nearer and nearer
And nearer and nearer and nearer.'