FAIR, FAT AND FORTY
Written by R P Weston & Bert Lee 1920

Performed by Whit Cunliffe (1876-1966)
Performed by Florrie Forde (1876-1940)

Some Ladies will give anything
To keep themselves in fashion
The latest craze for slimming now
They think it's smart and dashing
That sort of thing don't worry me
I can do without it
I can run and jump, but not too much
There's not a doubt about it.
Chorus: I'm fair, fat and forty
I'm sound in wind and limb
Folks may smile but I don't heed
I'm built for comfort not not speed
The men just think I'm wonderful
At least that's what they say
Oh, I'm fair, fat and forty
Getting younger every day.
Some people say I was drawn up
By a ship's designer
My mainstay might be big but
My jib could not be finer
While bathing in the sea one day
And floating round the sereneo
A boatman shouted, 'Blimey Bill,
Here comes a submarino!'
Chorus: I'm fair, fat and forty
I'm feeling full of vim
The boys just won't leave me alone
I'm something to cuddle, not skin and bone
My chassis may be bulky but the steering gear's okay
Oh, I'm fair, fat and forty
Getting younger every day.