The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #171646 Message #4154438
Posted By: Monologue John
09-Oct-22 - 06:57 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Add: Songs and Recitations of Weston & Lee
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs and Recitations of Weston & Lee
Any Dirty Work Today
yrics Weston Music Lee Roud 29705 Music Hall Performers George Carney Folk performances Source Singers Brenda Bentall, 1970, England Bob Keightley, 1979, London, England We’re here! We're here! Do you want any murders done today? D'ya hear? D'ya hear? If you want anybody put out of the way Call the old established firm, your old good friends in need. Families waited on daily, the best work guaranteed!
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to murder your mother-in-law for a shilling. If you've got a wife or two, you want put out of the way, We are the boys to do the job. We do them in, a bob a nob, Here you are then! There for a bob! Any dirty work today?
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to kill any lady's old man for a shilling. So if he's shabby and worn-out, while you're still young and gay Let's put strychnine in his tea! Rely on us the secrecy, You ask the lady at number three! Any dirty work today?
We’re here! We're here! We're the original dirty dogs. D'ye hear! D'ye hear! If you want a good murder, see our catalogues Poisonings done for eighteen pence, and that includes the dose. And we've some glorious deaths in stock at one-and-nine per gross.
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to strangle a cat or a dog for a shilling. For tuppence we’ll ring your landlords bell and run away. If there’s anyone you hate, for ninepence when the hour is late, We’ll chalk rude words on his garden gate! Any dirty work today?
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to burn any house to the ground for a shilling. The petrol costs us eight pence, you may think it doesn’t pay; For fourpence profit doesn’t sound a lot, but we’ve got a decent round And sixty fourpences make a pound: Any dirty work today?
We’re here! We're here! Now does anyone want a quick divorce? D'ye hear! D'ye hear! We can make it easy as backing a horse Evidence we can wangle in a way they can’t detect “Homes broken up on the shortest notice!” “Happy firesides wrecked”
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to get your evidence up for a shilling. If you’ve a wife that’s as good and pure as flowers that bloom in May Pay a bob, then up we creep, black her face while she’s asleep, And swear we saw her kissing the sweep: Any dirty work today?
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to settle a newly born babe for a shilling. We’ll wait out on the stairs until the doctor’s gone away, Then grab the baby from the nurse, no mess, no trouble and no fuss Lend us a pail and leave it to us: Any dirty work today?
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to cut off a nanny goat’s beard for a shilling. And if the dairy farmers says: “Your bill you’ve got to pay!” For fourpence round his cows will sneak, we’ll feed them on onions for a week; He’ll get no milk because they’ll spring a leak: Any dirty work today?
Do you want any dirty work done, any dirty work today? Here we are, ready and willing, to trip up old ladies for 3 and a shilling. For Fourpence down, we'll have high tea at Lyon’s café And though the menus plainly says: No tips allowed! We’ll watch and wait, then slip a penny beneath the plate! Any dirty work today? Another song from Weston and Lee, though this one doesn’t appear quite so well remembered in the folk world. It has only been found three times in the south of England, the recording by Brenda Bentall is listed on the VWML site, the other 2 are not that can be found in the British Library Sound archive. I can’t find a lot about George Carney’s (1847-1947) career in the halls, other than that he once appeared with Fred Karno as a sketch artist. In his early life, he worked both in the Liverpool Cotton Exchange and the Belfast shipyards. From 1913 he increasingly became involved in the film industry, first as a character actor and later as a director. I think this is a song worth singing, the black humour appeals to me! If you agree check out the recording of Bob Keighley below. Sources: VWML entry Kilgarrif Sing Us Fred Carney at IMDB Lyrics transcribed from recording of Bob Keightley at British Library sounds