Nobody noticed me
Written by Nat D. Ayer and Bert Lee 1918
Performed by Jack Pleasants

Although I've a striking appearance no doubt
Nobody notices me when I'm out
I can't understand it, it doesn't seem right
In fact as I walked on the stage here tonight.

Nobody noticed me, nobody noticed me
It's always been so since that wonderful morn
That wonderful morn on the day I was born
The room I was born in was large
And I was so tiny you see
That I never got fed for the first seven weeks
'Cos nobody noticed me.

One day for excitement I rode in a train
I sat with my nose glued right up to the pane
A bridegroom got in with his blushing young bride
I sat very still with my head on one side.

Nobody noticed me, nobody noticed me
We entered a tunnel without any light
I heard the bride giggle and whisper in fright
'Oh do give up kissing me, George.'
'I haven't kissed you.' answered he
She said, 'Well if you haven't, somebody has.'
But nobody noticed me.

Once with some pals at the sea-side I saw
A young ladies school bathing down on the shore
They bobbed up and down in the water so clear
A board on the beach said 'No mixed bathing here.'

Nobody noticed me, nobody noticed me
So I got my new little bathing suit out
And went in the sea and floated about
They never suspected at all
Except one young lady, and she
Said, 'It's queer, but a crab keeps on nipping my leg
But nobody noticed me.

Last leap year I met a young lady named Flo
She quickly proposed and I daren't say no
The day we were married I stood by her side
The parson shook hands with the best man and bride.

Nobody noticed me, nobody noticed me
Behind her bouquet I stood quiet and still
And just popped my head round and answered 'I will'
And when we got home later on, I felt so dead tired don't you see
I crawled under the bed and I laid there all night
And nobody noticed me.