This isn't a'joke' as such, but a true tale:
I remember a Mrs Malaprop friend who sat on our bingo table each week. In between each game we'd all have a bit of a natter.
She once blurted out, "My husband is putting up a dildo rail in our hall!" We all shrieked with laughter, and could hardly concentrate when the next game began. (She meant dado rail)
Another time, she told us that her husband had made a pond in their back garden, and she was going to get some gonorrhoeia to make it look nice. (She meant Gunnera, a plant with large leaves that grows near water)