The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #165631   Message #4156790
Posted By: GUEST,The Ancient Matriarch
30-Oct-22 - 10:53 PM
Thread Name: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen)
Subject: ADD: The Night Before Samhain (Holly Tannen)
Bright blessings, smiling silly sisters and laughing lurking listers!

Tis the end of the old Celtic year and the start of the new. In Ireland, Samhain (pronounced sow-in) was the last day of summer (Samradh. Farm people stored their harvested crops and gathered in their animals.

The setting sun lights the face of the waxing crescent moon. The sky darkens. The first stars have not yet appeared.

Time for my another re-telling of that ancient oral epic, translated from the Proto-Indo-European and recited over a smoldering peat fire by my great great grandmother, Scarlett O Tannenbaum

(Holly Tannen)

Twas the night before Samhain and all through the coven
The witches were cooking strange things in the oven
Sowbugs and bedbugs and headlice and fleas
Zuckerface burgers with limburger cheese.

Pizza rats gleaned in New York and Chicago
Classified documents from Mar-a-Lago
Poison oak pudding and corgi pate
And his royal lowness Prince Andrew flambe!

Candles were lit and the circle was cast
In hopes that the Goddess would be there at last
When out by the hot tub I heard such a clatter
I jumped on my broom to see what was the matter.

And what did I see in the blackberry thorns
But a dripping wet Goddess and eight unicorns!
I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus
And a good book, she muttered. You bitches are callous.

I came when you called, over all my objections
And got lost in the woods, thanks to Siris directions
You turkeys invoked me, now look at my dress!
My periods late, and Ive got PMS.

She cursed and she grumbled, she looked like a wreck
The unicorns whimpered and shat on the deck
So we gave her some bud and we got her some grub
We brought her hot towels and she soaked in the tub.

Then she rose, hot and dripping, and gave us her blessing
And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing!
On Isis, Rhiannon, Erzulie, Parvati!
On Artemis, Freya, Kali and Hecate!

We heard her exclaim as she rose through the air,
Thank Goddess theres only eight Sabbats a year!

- Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey