FARES PLEASE


Written and composed by Bert Lee - 1917
Performed by Daisy Dormer (1883-1947)




Why this crushing, why this rushing
For the County Council tram?
What's all this noise about
And what is it brings all the fellows out?
Why this hustle, why this bustle
As upon the car they swarm?
Oh gee, don't you see
It's the girl in the uniform
The tram is full and this is why
They want to hear that pretty little tram-guard cry,

Chorus: 'Fares please! Have your money ready
Fares please! There's room for two there you there,
Move up on your right and make room for your Uncle
Fares please! Have your money ready
Fares please! I've got to punch your tickets
Now then, Molly Duck your head, you'll hit it on the trolley
Now then, Willie, Change for Leicester Square and Kick-a Billy
All aboard! I'm shouting, all aboard
I'm going to pull the cord and then we'll homeward whirl
Though the car is full tonight
Though it swerves from left to right
You'll be safe if you hold on tight
To the tram conductor-girl.'

Gus and Bertie smile at Gertie
When she asks them where they're for
They simply say 'Goo-goo
Oh, we'll travel anywhere with you'
Fat old stagers, gouty majors
Murmur to this saucy pet
'By gad, not half bad'
And there's life in the old dog yet
Old Farmer Brown from Lancasheer says
'Eh, by gum, it's extra, and the wife's not here.'

Chorus:Fares please! Have your money ready
Fares please! There's room for two there you there,
Move up on your right and make room for your Uncle
Fares please! Have your money ready
Fares please! I've got to punch your tickets
Now then, Molly Duck your head, you'll hit it on the trolley
Now then, Willie, Change for Leicester Square and Kick-a Billy
All aboard! I'm shouting, all aboard
I'm going to pull the cord and then we'll homeward whirl
Though the car is full tonight
Though it swerves from left to right
You'll be safe if you hold on tight
To the tram conductor-girl.'