Rudolph (a ballad about a worker’s revolution)
Mike Danver Scott (UK)
From album: May Contain Nuts

Rudolph got so famous he decided to go solo
He fancied his chances of starring in a road show.
Santa Claus was livid, said it caused a lot of strain here
We’ve just a few days left to train another reindeer

        Rudolph unrepentant said it’s damaging me hooves
        Dragging that old geezer up and down these icy roofs.
        The other reindeer said that it’s a rebellion of sorts
        And the elves shut down the sweatshop to demonstrate support.

A new recruit was introduced to Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Comet, Cupid, Dasher, … Donner and Blitzen
They snootily enquired: “What’s he call you, little one?”
Well Santa said that he thought that he might call me “Venison”

        That word appeared to cause some consternation in the team
        “That name is not as innocent as it at first might seem.
        If any one of us should prove unequal to the work, he’s …
        Planning to dispose of us like all those dozing turkeys.”

Venison was oh so proud to pull that Yuletide sleigh
Always at the forefront in the training for the day
Decked in Christmas livery his head held high he’d trot
He didn’t spot the butcher’s van parked outside the grotto

        Vixen was quite worried. “Santa’s got us in a trap.”
        Dasher wasn’t bothered, said: “He’s quite a nice old chap.”
        Dancer said “It’s just the way he looks at Venison.
        You get the feeling maybe he’s not vegetarian.”

Vixen said “I’ve noticed what a very sound-proof barn this is.
No one would hear if we were gnawing at the harnesses.”
They did their Christmas duty, then on the homeward flight
High above the North Pole, they split to left and right.

        The plan worked like a dream it is my duty to record it
        Santa and his sleigh were catapulted into orbit
        It was all down to that new reindeer. He was the guilty one,
        Misunderstanding Santa saying “Your name’s DENNIS, son.”