The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #170917   Message #4159633
Posted By: MaJoC the Filk
18-Dec-22 - 12:18 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Add: MaJoC's ditties
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Hillbilly Heaven
Here's another I neglected to add earlier. Apologies for the delay.

By: Dr M J Carter
Tune: (unknown)

The Afterlive's way overcrowded,
They've simply no room there for more;
Completely by chance I've been given a glance
And been sent back to say what I saw ....

'Twas the night of our rock-tour finale,
We'd conquered the summits of rock,
And looking back now, we'd stepped forth for a bow
When suddenly everything stopped ---

I awoke in a meadow of music,
With moonshine the sky was aglow,
And on the main stage, a denim-clad sage
Led a class in clawhammer banjo.

Then someone grabbed me by the elbow:
I stood in a great barn-dance square;
With the banjo band frailing I found myself sailing
A complete stranger up in the air.

We escaped at the end of the figure;
"This is Hillbilly Heaven," she said;
"I assure you the fun here has barely begun ---
Now isn't this worth being dead?"

"But my weapon of choice is a Fender,"
Says I, "so this Heaven's a fail;
I'd quite like to go now," and she says "I know" ---
And that's when I trod on her tail [!]

Our roadie was shaking my shoulders,
To focus my eyes took an age;
He said with relief, but through gritted teeth:
"You pilllock, you fell off the stage ---

"We really thought you were a goner,
Then I suddenly saw with a thrill ....
You've got two left feet, but just now in your sleep
You were dancing a perfect quadrille."

The Afterlife's way overcrowded,
The evidence now I can tell,
For someone's idea of Heaven, it's clear,
Doubles up as the next person's hell,
        So help me God.

This parody Copyright © 2022 Martin J Carter
Filkstamp: 5th March 2022

This was actually based on someone else's nightmare, documented in a NetNews article before I'd even heard of the World-Wide Web. If the original victim steps up, I'd be happy to add appropriate "Based on ...." credits.