This week has been one in which things feel like they're flying in all directions. One of the few areas where I have maintained some control is keeping to the weight I'm at after working for 6 months to get here, and a lemon meringue pie is hard to resist. I have figured out how to make some of these things in smaller versions, and that is one possibility. I'll throw out the lemon juice before I make the whole pie and do that to myself.

The really terrible boss who impacted a lot of people and most of my friends, since most of my friends here were co-workers, has announced she's leaving, after 11 years of misery and the diaspora of those friends. I retired before she could fire me ("we're not extending your contract" they told many of the others); the writing was on the wall. A lot of old memories have churned up. Add to this the recent family diagnosis of ADHD and the realization that there is a direct line from my father, through me, to that child, and I'm hit with the realization that my scattered way of doing everything was possibly treatable decades ago. There is great potential in view - I think the best way to look at all of this - but great change is part of it.

I have rescinded the intention to do a dry January, though I'm keeping it to most days of the week. Self-medication with a glass of wine and streaming a video is a socially acceptable and non-destructive way of coping. Now that the dog is out of the cone I can get back to the world for hours at a time and stop by the gym. That is a huge help but I just wish it wasn't so full of people starting out their new year's resolutions right now - I try to go when the place is sparsely in use. I went out in the sun this afternoon to let it shine on my forehead; I always find that improves my mood. I've also been doing some sewing; it seems that multitasking has been my standard operating system and sewing and watching TV at the same time works. That, or sewing and listening to an audiobook.

This is more than I usually share, but it has needed to come out.