"Penistone" sounds like a special brand of cream for a particular topical application...a firming agent maybe...

And if Typhoo put the t in Britain, who put the (....) in Scunthorpe?

Amusingly, when Jeremy over at TheSession decided to auto-substitute profanities with more euphemistic words, you couldn't type "Scunthorpe" any more. It came out every time as "Seejithorpe..."