Here's another Les Barker parody, beautifully sung by Leslie Davies on "Oranges and Lemmings", and occasionally sung by me - this is from memory, and the recorded version is different from the version in "Reign of Terrier", so don't accept these words as gospel...

WILLIE AND NANCY
(Les Barker)

Farewell, my dearest Roger, you're not the man for me,
For you see my name is Nancy, and our love can never be;
No Henry, George or Julian; complete must be the ban
For if your name is Nancy, then Willie is your man.

Adieu, my dearest Roger, for wed we'll never be,
For I must have my Willie - there's no Roger-ing for me -
But, wait a moment, Roger, I just read the wedding clause
That says after we get married, he'll be off to fight the wars.

Stay awhile, dear Roger, wait for me in the shed,
For he's driving to High Germany the day that we get wed...
Well, this is a turn-up, and it dissipates my fears,
He'll give me half a wedding ring, then he'll bugger off for years!

He'll be off to fight the Prussians, he'll ask me to be true;
You must be joking, Willie - I've got better things to do!
He'll expect me to be faithful - what reward does virtue bring?
A Willie with no arms and legs - and only half a ring!

Stay awhile, dear Roger, we'll not bid adieu,
For my Willie's not returning until verse thirty-two.
There'll be no-one waiting when he walks through the door
For we're now in verse five - and there's only one more.

He'll sit down by the fireside, he'll wait for his tea;
He'll be waiting for a long time if he cares to wait for me!
So bring along your fiddle, play a tune and make it Loonnnnggg -
I've been Nanci-mancipated, after centuries of song!

Les Barker, as sung by Leslie Davies and misremembered by ML...