Thread #57774   Message #910572
Posted By: Dead Horse
15-Mar-03 - 07:06 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Broken Token Songs
Subject: ADD: The Maid of Melrose Town (Les Barker)

My own personal favourite, which encapsulates the theme perfectly.

THE MAID OF MELROSE TOWN (by Sir Les Barker)(What! Not knighted yet?)

There is a maid in Melrose town, and she must grieve full sore
For her bold and handsome Willie, says that he must go to war.
He has taken the king's shilling, and he has to go to Spain
And it's "Oh I am unwilling, for it looks a bit like rain.

And it's "Oh my dearest William, must ye gang awa' to Spain?"
"Let this wardrobe be our love token. Let us split it all in twain.
"On the day those halves unite, then so too shall we, my love;"
And she gave him half a wardrobe, and the poor sod staggered off

Willie's gone to be a soldier, Willie's gone for quite a while
With a wardrobe on his shoulder, down the M6 at Carlisle;
Laden down with half a wardrobe, all through England. France and Spain,
Where he found the war had finished, so he set off home again.

And he marched back into Melrose, and he took his token out,
But his fair, his dearest maiden, told him war had broken out.
"Brave Willie, you must go" she said, and blew the sweetest kiss,
And she handed him his token, saying 'don't go without this.

So he marched to Barcelona, where he found he'd been misled
For this war was in Sweden, and his true love hadn't said.
Poor brave Willie knew his duty, and he set off straight away,
But when he got to Stockholm, it had finished yesterday.

Willie met them Swedish girls, and how poor Willie was enraged,
For when a man's got half a wardrobe, you can tell that he's engaged.
So he had an idea that his half he'd maybe swap
And he went into Ikea, changed his bottom for a top.

And he marched back into Melrose, thinking soon he would be free
For we cannot make a wardrobe, and she'll think it isn't me.
But alas, his sweetest true love, had been making other friends
And she had been to Ikea, and had cunningly changed ends.

There is a maid in Melrose town, on her face the widest grin,
For her bold and handsome Willie, has returned from where he's been.
Who the hell are you? she says; I don't think you're my love;
If your half don't fit on my half, well then, you can just sod off

I'll go with that, said Willie, for the boy had used his wits,
And he took his half a wardrobe, and then.. bloody hell, it fits!
There is a wife in Melrose town; some say that they are fools,
For she didn't want to marry; Nor did he; but rules are rules.

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