I doubt the snow blower will get repaired in the near future. We shall just keep muddling along. R manages to hae too much on his plate ALL the time and when I think/hope he is staying home to "get something done" - what gets done is another book read or hours - literally - spent looking at news on his phone. Sometimes there are even work-related emails or texts.... His library downstairs is "fine" and I hear he is getting a workshop together... I don't go to the cellar(workshop) or the basement (library) due to air quality. The snow blower is too large to bring in the house and he does not do well with the cold. He has had at least 3 summers ... There is also a brand new generator that needs ???? and ... Oh Well. If I can only help him maintain a semblance of getting the absolute essentials done. Time goes by and Well, the taxes got paid a few days before they sold the house for unpaid taxes... Yeah, all this is hard to deal with so I just keep reading books and, come to think of it, he just keeps reading books... But I am not letting anyone down. Some days, it is scary.
But I have an out: Beaver and enough money to live there alone if it comes to that. I would have failed to be the support person I had hoped to be. The job seems to be beyond my ability. There! I have said it. We will just keep muddling... I will keep my nose above water and hope he does also.
A storm is coming; I need more green tea!
Also, I want Charmion to know that Canada Mortgage and Housing (CMHC) has considerable info on healthy houses, building supplies, etc. Our friend Oliver Drerup built the first low-cost healthy house complex, near Ottawa and then lectured on the subject internationally. It all started when a family convinced him (a tough job!) that their brand new dream home was making them sick. He built them a healthy house... and went on from there. He should be retired now (maybe) but there are books on the subject and the website was comprehensive last time I looked.
This morning was spent writing an email to a friend re the traumas that can mess up our lives, starting in utero. I have spent a good chunk of every day for several weeks, contemplating this and considering how to approach a subject that is clearly unresolved for him. For most of my life I have wished for a way to send my thoughts through the ether, so to speak. We do hear of people having this kind of connection at times. Anyway, the primary message has been sent. I would be more comfortable face to face in a peaceful environment.
That, I hope, is the most important thing I have done in these weeks. Never mind the particulars of everyday life. Now to continue to trying to figure out how to get a stubborn Scot to recognize how he is shooting himself in the foot - daily. This could be one of the most important things I do with my life - or the biggest failure.
My #2 son has still not called re my birthday - almost two weeks ago. And my bro's cancer is turning nasty. But there is food cooked and teh sink is not full of soiled dishes, the sheets are clean and the house is looking good enough if anyone should happen to visit....
Visit??? What's that? Phoned a friend today and got her dear husband and we talked about visiting in the summer! And I have a great idea for warmer weather - to put a few chairs under the trees in the front yard and sit out there to read so I can talk to people out walking their dogs or just walking by. No front porch! But I will fake one. I suppose I shall have to tack the chairs down but that is possible. I will watch for folding chairs at the thrift shops.
Lots of snow on its way. I need to go back to the library in the am! We spent Sunday aft there but 3 of 5 of the books I brought home were already read! I will re-read the James Lee Burke just for his beautiful way of writing.