The history of the United States of America has been discovered after centuries of cover-ups and leftist conspiracies to indoctrinate our citizens with fictitious facts, Finally, freedom, faith, and the American family will be taught in an unbiased format. We wish to thank our treasured historians Donald J. Trump, Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor
Greene and hundreds of contributors from the Heritage Foundation for their research.

[This is the official and complete history of the USA by the Republican National Committee and not the abridged alternative social truth targets of our respected and esteemed colleagues like The Proud Boys and QAnon.]

In 1492 Columbo sailed the Ocean blue with his destination set on an alternative route to India. To his surprise, he arrived in Haiti where he fought off Small Pox and the savages. By the time this news reached England, some very pure people from Plymouth believed their promised land for religious freedom would be found in the new world. They moved with Mayflower to move to America. To their delight, they arrived at Plymouth rock. The pure people aka Puritans invited some natives to their housewarming party that today we call Thanksgiving, The fathers of America were born soon after the Renaissance which in Latin means Born Again Christians, not to be confused with toxic wokeness.
Americans wanted freedom from the King of Britain. Likewise the King of France faced headaches to come from Antifa rebels in his own country. Philosophers of the day like Rousseau wrote "Man is free but is everywhere in chains". He dreamt of a world where man was master of his own destiny and government. It was the same dream that was tempting European immigrants to come to America in droves and boats. It turns out that building a new world was back-breaking work, so they invited people from Africa and made them do the work instead. You might think these were the same people Rousseau was talking about when he said mankind should throw off its chains but they weren't.
Like many humanists, he found a clever loophole by calling blacks only 3/5ths human, or only human from the neck down.
When Britain tried to tax America, the citizens cleverly dressed up like Indians and turned Boston Harbor into the biggest cup of tea in the world. Then George Washington crossed the Delaware and defeated the British. in 1776 the founding fathers drafted the best dear John letter in history and established their independence. A list of suggestions was later called the Constitution. United we stood until the Civil War when the North ruthlessly attacked the South. After we invented the light bulb, radio and sliced bread, a negotiated settlement was made and American capitalism and inventions spread planes, trains and automobiles across the country. We also put and end to WW1 and WW2 rebuilt Europe, opened China and chased Russia out of Cuba. Republicans have brought prosperity to America with only a couple of exceptions. They put an end to the Lifetime Presidency of FDR and some say they put a man on the moon.
   If it had not been for rigged elections the great President in history would still be in power.


fact-checked by Wikipedia
.