SEVEN WHORES OF POMPEY

There were seven whores of Pompey,
A-sipping of their wine.
And the subject for discussion was was
"Is your thing bigger than mine?"
Now up spoke Bloody Mary, her cunt as big as hell,
And in it was a lighthouse and a battleship as well.

CHORUS: She had those dark and dreamy eyes
And a whizzbang up her jacksie, (Taxi!)
She was one of those flash eyed whores,
One of the old brigade.

Now the next one was a sailor's wife and she was dressed in blue
And in one corner of her funny little thing she stowed a seaboat's crew,
She stowed a seaboat's crew my boys the rowlocks and the oars,
And in the other corner the Marines were forming fours.

Now the next one was a fisherman's wife and she was dressed in green,
And in one corner of her funny little thing she stowed a soup tureen,
She stowed a soup tureen my boys the ladles and the soup,
And in the other corner Naval Airmen looped the loop.

Now the next one was a brewer's wife and she was dressed in grey.
And in one corner of her funny little thing she stowed a brewer's dray,
She stowed a brewer's dray my boys the barrels and the beer,
And in the other corner she had Syph. and Gonorrhoea.

The next one was a Pongo's wife and she was dressed in red,
And in one corner of her funny little thing she stowed a horse's head,
She stowed a horse's head my boys the bridles and the bit,
And in the other corner Naval airmen shovelling shit.

Now the next one was a C.P.O.'s wife and she was dressed in puce,
And in one corner of her funny little thing she practised self-abuse,
She practised self-abuse my boys in forty different ways.
And in the other corner was Willmott buggering Hayes.

Now the next one was a cricketer's wife and she was dressed in vermilion,
And in one corner of her funny little thing she stowed the Lord's pavilion,
She stowed the Lord's pavilion boys the batsman and his duck.
And in the other corner the remains of last night's fuck.

Now the next one was the Captains wife and she was dressed in gold,
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had the 'Leopold.'
She had the 'Leopold' my boys, the diesels and the oil.
And in the other corner she'd a fucking 'normous boil'.

Then up there spake the airman's wife and she was dressed in beige
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had a Handley Page,
She had a Handley Page my boys with joystick and its knob
And in the other corner were two Naval airmen on the job.

Then up there spake the actor's wife who was also dressed in beige
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had the Windmill stage,
She had the Windmill stage my boys the gallery and stalls
And in the other corner she had C.B. Cochrane's balls.

Then up there spake the observer's wife and she was dressed in chrome
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had the aerodrome,
She had the aerodrome my boys the bombers and the troops
And in the other corner there were Barras Looping loops.

And then there was the ops room girl — she was a little WAAF
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had the ops room staff.
She had the ops room staff my boys all fucking there like hell
And in the other corner she had signals staff as well.

And then up spake the telephone girl and she was dressed very strange
And in one corner of her funny little thing she had the camp exchange.
She had the camp exchange my boys the wire and all the switches
And in the other corner Little F had left his breeches.

And last there spake the Lieutenant's wife and she was dressed so poor
And in her palmy days my boys she'd been a Pompey whore
She'd been a Pompey whore my boys and her price was half a crown,
But now that she's got married her price is coming down.

Pgs 198-199, The Fleet Air Arm Songbook (1971). The songbook can be viewed online here: https://archive.org/details/1979cathefleetairarmsongbook/page/198/mode/2up?view=theater