I WANNA PLAY PIANO IN A CATHOUSE
Tune: I Only Want a Buddy, Not a Sweetheart

Oh I wanna play piano in a cathouse
Now that's the only thing that I desire
Some people play banjos
Or strum on a lute
But I wanna to play in a house of ill repute.

You may laugh at my silly ass-piration
But that oldest know profession's here to stay
Yes, I'd give up all my riches
Just to play for all those... girlfriends.
I wanna play piano today.

[musical interlude]

Now you may laugh at my silly ass-pirations
But that oldest know profession's here to stay
Yes, I'd got out and beat down doors [knock, knock, knock]
Just to play for all those... girlfriends.
I wanna play piano today... in a cathouse
I wanna play piano today.

From the 1983 LP, Ringwald Rated-R by Robert Ringwald (father of actress Molly Ringwald)