Users here chose what to call themselves here for a reason. Many women use non-gendered monikers to avoid online abuse. If we know a member's first name and are comfortable using it and know they won't mind, no problem. That said, we've had occasions recently when members have doxxed or outed other members they have a verbal dispute with, using full names or revealing way more than necessary, and those posts have been deleted. Sometimes a PM sent to say "don't do that again."

Internet trolls are a reality of the online world and if someone chooses not to use their real name or reveal personal details, then that should be respected. If over time elements of a personal nature are dropped in the course of conversations, it isn't helpful if one person (I have someone in mind here) hoovers up all of that information from around the site and drops it fully-formed into a discussion. It either makes that person rather trollish, or gives more ammo to someone who is trawling the web for info.

My final remark is for the editors who want to curate every post on any thread in which they participate or might be part of the subject. You also know who you are. "Personal attack" is a general term that doesn't usually apply in conversations where people have a reason to disagree. Behaving better on the site will generally reduce the number of times others will want to take a shot at you.