The Last Great Waltz
by Mason Williams

common (4/4) time
Jonathan W. Aster was a master dancing man
He danced the day that he was born; his parents thought it grand
The Samba and the Tango he did with great elan
But most he loved to dance the waltz until the break of dawn

waltz (3/4) time
I like the waltz
It has its faults
Oh there are some dances more fancy
I like the waltz
Simply because
It makes me feel so dancy

4/4
One day he got an invitation to a ballroom dance
And he decided to accept for he might get the chance
To dance with lovely ladies with perfume in their hair
Or even fat and ugly ones, he really didn't care

But at the ball, the same old story made his evening grim
For he was a perfectionist and none would dance with him
And so he thought he's just go home and turn his radio on
But on his way he spied a girl, dancing all alone

3/4
I like the waltz
It has its faults
It's not much fun unless danced by two
I wish I knew
Somebody who
Would dance with me, I'm so Blue Danube

4/4
She was waltzing by herself there in a little nook
He quietly crept to where she was to get a better look
She was a little different than either you or me
For she did not have two good legs, she had one two three

3/4
I like the waltz
I have my faults
I have three legs, but I'm in good health!
I like the waltz, mostly because
I have to dance all by myself

First the left foot
Then the right foot
Then the right foot, then I repeat
I make no mistakes
I've got what it takes
One two three feet, for waltzing is neat

4/4
Jonathan W. Aster asked he if she'd llike to dance
And she answered, "Yes sir!"
So they began to waltz in a most peculiar way
For she had three legs, he had two, and those who saw did say:

5/4
We like the waltz
We have our faults
But we are happy for the first time
Though we are different
We took a chance
And found true love
In an old deep romance

(Somebody pull the plug)