Well, it's an interesting question. I've performed badly and been paid (I thought at the time) an outrageous amount of money; I've played profoundly well for scant tips at noisy cafes where few could hear me; I've spent lots of money feeding copier machines to dream up new flyers, photographers to take terrible pictures, sound engineers to record at a very leisurely pace recordings I don't like--

I find I'm happiest when money is not in the equation but I don't know if that necessarily means that I'm aiming for that state of affairs. I genuinely would love to be able to play music without feeling that I was selling my soul. The problem seems to be not with me and my dreams but how the US culture (my dubious homeland)regards folk musicians and artists in general. We are, to say the least, not exactly dwelling among the pantheon of the exalted.

I have learned to be realistic about making a living, supporting family--I also know that balance in context matters. Class issues are insidious. I don't think poverty is a noble state, personally, I think it's stressful, dehumanizing, and ultimately lifeless. However, excess is obscene and corrupting--so what's an honest folkie to do?

Maybe I've fallen into my own trap of perceiving the world as polarized when in fact there's a range of ways of living and knowing between poverty and wealth. I seem to always struggle with this.

blt