From my distant memory...Sung to an opera tune I recall.
Last night, I comtemplated masturbation,
It did me good, I knew it would.
Tonight, I will repeat the operation
I have a desire, to pull my wire.
Ease it, squeeze it, bang it on the floor!
Punch it, crunch it, catch it in the door
Some people say that sexual intercourse is grand
But for personal satisfaction I would rather use my hand!