A Yorkshireman is distraught at the death of his beloved dog. He goes to a goldsmith and asks, "If I show thee a photo, canst tha mek us a gold statue of me dog?"

Jeweller: "Yes, I think that would be OK. Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "Nah, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"